Continuing the grand, fortnight-old tradition of Perfume Periscope Wednesdays, last week Les Senteurs’ Callum joined me to think about perfumes to get us all through that slump in the middle of the week. Periscope is like twitter for video and, like the mayfly, footage only lingers for 24 hours before disappearing forever. I made some notes from our transcript before it vanished, reproduced here without our chortling / corpsing moments …
Perfume for the Guilty Sickie Day
You’ve called the office and shared the details of your incapacitating bout of food poisoning (both ends!) but then feel too guilty even to enjoy an afternoon of QVC. Etat Libre d’Orange’s Eloge du Traitre is dry, spicy, piney, vegetal and slightly dirty, like being cast out into the wilderness with the vultures, and the name will remind you of your great transgression…
If you have no scruples, and your sickie has you ‘galivanting’, there’s another Etat Libre d’Orange Afternoon of a Faun. This is also vegetal but this time more beautiful wilderness, where you might become slightly unhinged. Like, I don’t know, eating a sausage roll in the garden. It’s mad, humid and strange and is like drinking and smoking and having sex in the woods. Or at least, that’s what Callum thinks.
Perfume for Spreadsheet Ennui
If you’re trapped with Excel for hours pretending you understand how to do formulae, Mona d’Orio’s Vanille will take away your pain. It’s the perfume equivalent of lying on a chaise longue for the afternoon (which probably isn’t the way to make your case for a promotion). It’s not too sweet a vanilla, instead it has a saltiness and a dirtiness – like the pods chopped up in the earth. It’s really comforting, smooth, soft, like a pashmina (hello 1996), smokey, spicy, and constantly changing.
Perfume for your Annual Review
If angling for a promotion and wanting something that will intimidate your boss, look no further than the leather stirrup that is Knize’s Ten. Made in 1924 for the venerable Viennese tailoring house, Ten has a Teutonic efficiency about it and will remind you that you’re not allowed to use the words ‘perhaps’, ‘could’, ‘might’ or ‘may’, but instead must say, ‘thank you for my new job’, or at the very least, ‘thank you for my new filing cabinet’.
Perfume for a Meeting from Hell
But even Ten might not be enough and you could find yourself in a team confab, without even any biscuits. What to do? A spritz of Indochine by Parfumerie Generale will be interesting enough to distract you from the meeting and take you out of the room, at least in spirit. With a gorgeous cardamom note, it’s open, hazy, smooth and comforting. Think of falling asleep with your eyes open (an skill I am desperate to master).
Perfume for Rush Hour
And, if you’ve had enough and just want some peace and quiet on the journey home, Callum snuck in YET another Etat Libre d’Orange, Sécrétions Magnifiques. Yes that old, renowned thing, which smells of blood, sweat, sperm and saliva and will act just as effectively as a ‘Baby on Board badge for getting a seat.Read More